It's been a long month...

Wow.

I knew it had been a while since I'd posted, but I didn't realize it had been more than a month!

I suppose that probably has something to do with the fact that everytime I'd get ready to post an update on the chaos that has been my life for the last month, I'd start thinking about my mom. And, well, I just haven't been ready or able to write about her yet. So, I haven't posted at all.

She's been gone for over a month now, and there are times it still feels unreal. I don't know how long'll it'll be until I won't think, "I've got to call Mom, and tell her what Garrett did today!" or "Mom'll be thrilled to know that _____, and I have to remember to let her know..." I still do that almost daily.

For example, when the new "Alice in Wonderland" was out in the theaters, and the commercials were regularly running on tv, Garrett would stop whatever he was doing and watch them. Every time. Mom and I thought it was awesome, considering he was only about 8 or 9 months old at the time. Trin and I rented the movie a couple of weekends ago, and I put it on while getting G ready for bed, thinking (since he was ridiculously tired already) that I could put the movie in and rock him to sleep. Yeah. Garrett was fascinated by the movie--watched the entire thing! I so wanted to call Mom and tell her!

It sucks.

The other fabulousness, other than the simple fact that she's no longer here with us, that resulted from Mom passing away, is that I had to all of the sudden find someone to watch Bubba while I was at work. Todd doesn't work, but he's not able (for a number of reasons) to watch Garrett by himself for an entire day. Mom was our childcare. So, my cousin, Eden, has been wonderful--she jumped in to start watching him everyday the first week I was back at work. But--and it's a big but--Eden's job hunting. Which means that, best case scenario for E and worst for me, I could be without childcare again very soon--eek! The problem here is that we really can't afford to pay for childcare.

I'm the only working adult in the house right now, so money's already tight, but since there are two parents in the household, we can't get any state assistance--they'll only help out for the time periods when both parents are working. Wonderful.

Well, my sister (thank you, Mundee!) is picking up Tuesdays for us, starting next week. And, my fabulous friend, Mary, says she'll watch him one day a week as well, so she's starting by watching both Garrett and Trinity this Friday. That's a definite start. I'll just keep praying about the rest of it--I know He'll provide what we need!

Garrett is definitely moving right along in the mobility department. Not only did he seriously start walking EVERYWHERE the day after Mom died, but now he's CLIMBING. Crap. He's definitely keeping us busy--everytime I turn around, he's climbed up on a box, or a chair, or the stool in the kitchen; which, in turn, means items that were safe on tables and counters before are no longer quite so safe. What an adventure he is!

Trin's having a pretty good summer so far (other than losing her Grandma, of course). She's basking the laziness that is no school, and she was allowed to attend the junior higher's overnighter at our church. She wasn't the only younger there, of course, but she was the only kid--period--to literally stay up the entire night! The kids ranged in age from around 7-14, and Trin beat out even the teens to stay up all night! She then slept for 10 hours straight the next day, woke up for about 3 hours, and went back to sleep for the entire following night to make up for it, but that's an entirely different story, lol! Oh, and I was able to get her signed up for a week of free swimming lessons at the local community center, which she adored.

Okay, I think that's it for tonight. I'll try to get back on track of updating more often. I don't cry EVERY time I write/talk about my mom now.....

Sad week

I'm not posting much tonight, since I do want to get to sleep in the near future, and I've had enough of crying for today...

My momma's gone. She died Tuesday, May 25, 2010, surrounded by friends and family who loved her. It was a shock, and we're all still reeling.

I wasn't supposed to have to figure out how to live without her yet!

I love you, Mom!

Ah, Mother's Day

I love Mother's Day, but I've learned not to expect a whole lot in my house. Not that the hubby forgets--he just not the super-expressive-on-special-days kind of guy. I get plenty of love & appreciation throughout the year, but sometimes it'd be really nice for him to think ahead. You know, so I can get the nap I need that I specifically requested on the way home from church? Apparently, the memory went missing today, because right after he finished his lunch, Todd said, "I'm going to go lay down for a bit." Now, I didn't say anything, because, one, I was still giving Garrett his food, and two, I was absolutely positive that Garrett would go down for another nap fairly shortly and I could lay down then.

Nope!

This was one of those fabulous days that G decided that the less than an hour he slept in the car on the way home from church was the only napping he was willing to do. Thanks, Bubba! And, this was also one of those days that Todd's "a little bit" turned into nearly 4 hours.

Yeah. I got to lay down for that nap at 6:15pm. Which would be part of the reason I'm still awake right now!

Trin did make me a beautiful card and colored a picture for me before breakfast, and she made a flower pot for me in Sunday School. The card and picture will be going to work with me, of course, lol!

And Garrett? He decided to say, "Happy Mother's Day!" by doing more walking than he's ever done! He and I walked back and forth across the back of the sanctuary during worship for easily 15 minutes, and most of that he did just holding one of my hands. That was a huge amount of time for him--usually he's back down on all fours after a minute or so. Then, he showed me how brave he's getting by walking between two chairs (4 or 5 steps) without holding on--he was practically to the second chair before I even noticed, LOL! Then, I was sitting in the middle of the floor, reading him a story, and Garrett decided he was thirsty. So, he walked the 5-ish steps to the coffee table to get his sippy cup, and then he walked back while carrying his sippy cup.

I'm such a proud Mama! A little terrified, but proud nonetheless!

Oh, and here's his Mother's Day onesie--purchased by Grandma!

Yeesh--I've been slacking!

Okay, so I was doing really well there for a while--keeping up on updates after each kid's birthday & such--but I lost it! So, let me get everything caught up, lol!

Trin's birthday was the third & last of the kids', and it went surprisingly well, too. For having seven 7-11 year olds running around my house, I had much less to do than I thought I would. For one thing, the weather was decent, so most of the time they were all here they spent outside, playing tag & such. Also, the kids...well, really the boys, were incredibly interested in Garrett & actually offered to watch him a couple of times for me, so I could go do things in another room. It was so cute!

Trin had a blast and has already advised me that she wants to have next year's party at home again. Woohoo! I think I'll put the planning badge on her next year though--"You have such-and-such amount of money for your party. You decide how to spend it." I saw that on another mom's blog or message board a couple of years ago & loved the idea!

Let's see...what came next? Oh, yes, Todd's birthday & my pregnancy scare. Yeah, Todd's 42nd birthday was April 16th, and about the same time I started thinking I was pregnant again. Not good! Not planned! And, definitely not ready to deal with two under two, LOL! Fortunately, it was a false alarm, but, oh boy, did it have my heart going for a couple of weeks!

Hmmmm....trying to remember what else has happened in the last month.....

Todd and the girls went camping & riding out at McCubbin's Gulch for a weekend, and Trin decided to take a tumble into the creek next to the campsite. Since she was soaked from armpits to toes, this resulted in my driving 2 hours out to deliver dry pants, socks, and a shirt--not a happy mama! But, I was definitely releived that she wasn't more than scared!

Mom and I checked out a couple of events at the Expo Center that we're going to keep our eyes open for again next year--Babyfest NW & the JBF Consignment Sale. Babyfest was fun for G-man--he loved the diaper dash, even though he didn't win. Let's just say he was easily distracted! We made out like bandits at the consignment sale--it happens twice a year (spring/summer & fall/winter), and there were nearly 600 people who were consigning their no-longer-needed baby & kids goods. We found a TON of clothes for Garrett, a few adorable and tiny items for the preemie born to one of my friends at church, and even a few things for Trin. Oh, and I found a couple of toys Garrett loves--a Playskool tool bench ($8) and an 80-piece set of Megablocks ($8)--a pop-up tent for him to play in at the beach this summer ($5), and a backpack carrier for him ($7). Total for the haul (including 2 pairs of shoes for Bubba)? $130.50! I was thrilled!

And, my favorite piece of news? I have a car!!!!!

The 2nd Birthday

Well, it came and went....Garrett's 1st birthday! We had a number of fabulous family members over for cake and ice cream, and Garrett loved every minute of it--from "helping" Daddy put together his new toy from Grandma....

to playing with his big sister, Trinity, and his cousin, Kaydin...

...to travelling from his high chair to the bathtub to be scrubbed clean!

He loved his cake, that's for sure! And, it turns out, I was right about not him not needing someone to smash his hands into the cake before he dove in. He started out with one finger in the frosting,

watching us all the while to see if someone was going to stop him, then went to two fingers, then handfuls of frosting,

next, handfuls of cake, then on to two-fisting it,

ending with wrapping his face with the paper plate.

Yep, I was definitely right to strip him down to the diaper!

My big boy! Happy Birthday, Bubba!

The 1st Birthday

Happy birthday, Beth!

Today is my step-daughter's 21st birthday and the start of my broke time of the year. Beth today, Garrett on April 3rd, Trinity on April 10th, and Todd on April 16th! I thought it was bad before Garrett, but now I essentially have to plan two parties at once, which is going to get crazier as the years go by.

In my last post, I said I was going to try to steer Trin towards bowling or skating for her party. Well, I gave in to the home party. After thinking about it a bit more & realizing that the games the kids could play were all games that Trin & the rest of the family got for Christmas--meaning I don't have to plan the games--I decided I liked the idea after all. Trin decided on 8 guests, all on her own! And, she's already made her list. She's mostly inviting friends from school and then her 2 best friends from church--Nicole & Aliyah. I think we'll actually end up with about 10 kids, so I figure we'll get the invitations this week, & Trin can hand them out after spring break. I'm not sure what kind of theme she wants to do, but we'll figure that out this week as well...after she takes care of her bridge project for school.

Her big project for the year is researching one of the Portland bridges, building a model of that bridge (up to 24 inches long), and giving a speech about the model & the bridge. She chose the Hawthorne Bridge weeks before the assignment actually came home, so now the trick is teaching her to not wait until the last minute--we'll see how that goes this week, since the project is due the week after spring break. Wait, I just realized her 3rd grade teacher assigned homework over spring break--not cool! LOL!

And moving right along....

So, Garrett's 1st birthday is 3 weeks away (yikes!), and I sent out the Evites already (cake and ice cream at the house--simple & sweet). Just about everyone has RSVP'd (which I really & truly appreciate!).

Now, Trinity. Trin's birthday is a week to the day following her little brother's.

* Sigh *

And, she's going to be 9. Definitely not as simple as a 1-year-old boy. She keeps changing her mind about what she wants to do. Bowling; no, wait, roller skating; or maybe swimming! Or, the newest idea is to have it at the house, with games and everything. Ummm....we'll see? Games and keeping things (semi)organized with a household of 8 & 9-year-old boys and girls are not my strong points, so, even though it'll likely cost more, I think I'll be pushing for bowling or skating....with maybe a friend or two over for a slumber party afterwards.

Garrett, by the way, has decided to test out his balance and see how long he can stand on his own. So far, the longest I've timed him at is about 7 or 8 seconds, but he's getting better!

Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!

I have finally gotten myself calmed down after fighting with the FAFSA website all day long!

My step-daughter, Beth, is in Jobcorps, and she's transitioning into what could be considered the next level of Jobcorps--I think it's called ACT or On Course, or something...I can never remember. Anyway, it's set up to help students transition into regular college classes, and one of the requirements is to complete the FAFSA. No big deal, really.

Unless it's the very last day to be able to get the form completed to show Jobcorps that it's been done, accepted, and that the student will have financial aid for the upcoming semester, apparently.

That was today.

Last month, I filled out the application for 2010-2011, but apparently she needed to do the app for 2009-2010 as well, in order to start at MHCC for spring semester. She texted me today, stressing out over it, & I told her I'd get it done. I figured I hadn't had any problem with the app for 2010-2011, so the previous year wouldn't be any big deal either.

Wrong!

One of the features (a fairly new one, I think) of the online application, is that there's an option to link to your online tax record for the appropriate year & simply import the information. "Fabulous!" I thought. "Now, I don't have to try and figure out where in the world our 2008 tax forms disappeared to in the move this last summer!"

Ummmm....yeah....so, the "fabulous" part of this "simplification" is that the FAFSA then asks you how much income was yours and how much was your spouses. Okay, so, you offer me a way to get all of my income information added for me.....and then ask me for information that requires me to go find my tax forms anyway? What kind of sense does that make?!?!?

After literally hours of searching for tax forms and fighting with the application, I said, "screw it," entered $0 in a few choice boxes, and submitted the form anyway.

Screw it.

And breathe, 'Lissa, breathe....

Zoo!

I love the zoo, but I don't go anywhere near as often as I'd like to. What can I say? I'm also kind of a homebody! However, Todd was in Molalla gold panning today, and Beth had to stay out at Jobcorps, so it was just the kiddos and myself. I really didn't want to stay home all day, so we went to the zoo with my friends--and the kids' honorary aunties--Mandy & Melissa.

Being a wimp and the aforesaid homebody, I'm exhausted, and we only walked around for about 2 hours, since the zoo closed at 4 today! The weather was fabulous, considering it's mid-February in Portland--it was chilly, but sunny and gorgeous, which made things just about perfect.

Trin tried to take over the camera for the trip, and came out with some pretty good shots. This one of the lioness is my favorite though:

Garrett was a trooper. I know he was tired--he'd had about an hour nap this morning, and then he caught about another 30 minutes before Mandy picked us up, and that was it since he woke up at 7 am. Yeah. He was tired. You'd never have known it, though! He wasn't cranky at all, and he was really attentive to everything and everyone around him. He LOVED the fish and the bats, and he was pretty interested in the gibbons and the komodo dragon. Here he is, trying to touch the fish in the tank:

We finished out our day with the penguins....

Things are getting interesting

I just realized I hadn't said anything about G-man! He's up & moving now--pulls up to stand regularly and is starting to figure out cruising! Oh, and reaching for the buttons on the tv, beating on the window pane, and tormenting the dog...all normal 10-month-old activities, LOL!

He's working on talking, I think. So far, we've got the requisite "Mama" & "Dada", along with "baba" (bottle, of course, although that one only comes out every once in a while), and the new ones within the last couple-3 days are "uh-oh!" and "gak (yucky)". And, yes, along with the "uh-oh" came the very deliberate dropping of things to see how often Mommy/Daddy/Sister/Grandma will pick them up!

So frustrated...

I'm in a new position for me, not liking my job and not being able to get past the job part to truly enjoy my coworkers, and I really dislike it. Especially since I'm not in any kind of position of really compromising on the next job I do find when it comes to wages & benefits. Until Todd gets approved for SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), I'm pretty much stuck. It's ok on the one hand, since I know it's a stable job with fantastic benefits, which we truly need, especially right now with Todd trying to get everything balanced out and managed. On the other hand, I like liking my job. Especially when I spend more time there than I do at home with my family!

So, I'm trying to brainstorm the things I love to discover the "right" career for me, and I'm feeling vaguely successful, but until I'm not the sole breadwinner for our family, it's all wishful thinking when it comes right down to it--very frustrating......

Ohhhhh, boy! He's up!

So, I've been noticing a pattern with Garrett and his milestones. My friend, Kim, has a son who's almost exactly a month older than G and posts about his milestones on Facebook and her blog, just like I do. I started noticing a couple of months ago that about 1-2 weeks after Kim posted about Finn reaching a milestone, Garrett followed suit. Sitting, crawling, etc. So, when she posted at the beginning of the month that Finn was pulling himself to stand, I started to watch Garrett even more closely...to be honest, I wasn't anywhere near ready for him to be getting that much closer to walking yet! Well, it took almost a month this time, but.....



.....yep, my little monster figured out pulling himself up to standing last night.

See the diaper box he's using for balance here? The first thing I saw when he started to figure it out was straight legs, feet on the floor, belly laying across the diaper box, & hands reaching for all the goodies (cords, etc) on the other side of the box. Then he pushed himself up straight to standing! I was so shocked that it took a minute for me to realize what he was doing & get Todd's attention, LOL!

The next thing he did? Turned to the right just far enough to get his right hand on the coffee table, then joined it with his left hand...and immediately lifted the right hand off the coffee table to grab for everything on top of it! No pausing to make sure his balance was ok, no wobbling, no fear of falling there!

Things just got more interesting around our house!

I'm struggling with my job situation right now, and I kind of feel like I don't have a right to. I have a job, a very stable job, when a lot of people (including far too many I know and love) don't. But...I've discovered I really don't like my job, and that's unusual for me. I thought working customer service for the claims department of a disability insurance company would be rewarding--helping people cope while they're sick/injured and can't work, working with them to get them back to work, etc--but instead, I feel like a switchboard operator or like I'm giving excuses for others all day long. Not so much what I find rewarding! I'm usually so laid back and can focus more on the people I work with than the job itself when it comes to whether I enjoy going into the office more often then not. For some reason, I'm not able to do that now, and being the working spouse, I almost don't feel like I have a choice about whether to stay or move on. My husband disagrees--he told me the other day to find another job, if I don't like the one I have. He hates seeing me (and let's face it, listening to me!) hate what I do. I told him I couldn't jeopardize the one I have just to find something I like better; not in today's economy.

So, I've started really researching what I want to be doing from here on out. When I do move on from where I am, I don't want to just move to another "job". I want it to be a career, and I truly don't know what that needs to be. I've never been one of those people who always knew what she wanted to be--not like my friend, Tracy, who knew ever since I-don't-know-when that she wanted to be a teacher, and everything she did worked toward that goal. It used to drive me crazy, and still does! I feel like, at 31 years old, I should have some idea of how to use my passions and talents in the workplace to make enough money to support my family and to enjoy myself at the same time.

But I don't. Not really.

So, I think my next step is to start talking to people I know who truly love what they do (having the periodic "blech" day is perfectly acceptable, LOL)--maybe they can help me figure out where to go next!

Mmmmm....Spaghetti!

Garrett had his 1st spaghetti dinner last night, and, boy, was it ever a hit, LOL!

A whole new year!

I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I last posted anything! My excuse is my step-daughter--we have a certain number of gigabytes available on our plan every month, and we usually have no problem staying within that limit, even with Beth's hours on end on the computer, watching videos, etc. Apparently, Beth here for 2 weeks doing the same thing makes a significant dent! We usually have at least 1 gig still available for the last week of the month, often more. This month? We had 700 mb available for the 2nd TWO weeks! Grrrrr! Boy, she heard about it, let me tell ya! No more hours of videos for Beth!


Christmas was wonderful and much quieter than Thanksgiving. T-day's really the big family get together holiday for the King family (my extended fam), so Christmas is always lower key, but this year seemed to be much more so. Maybe because my aunt Debbie & uncle Bob stayed home in Seattle, and my aunt Sylvia & uncle Don stayed home in Corvallis....I don't know, but it was quiet. Garrett really had no interest in opening presents, just in eating the paper after it was off! Well, until Trin handed him a present that made noise, LOL! We had to search, but we finally found a set of wooden blocks, which was one of those classic toys we really wanted to find for the G-man. The set I found is also a shape sorter, which I find even more awesome--I loved my shape sorter as a kid! I took the plastic packaging off the blocks set and put the blocks inside the sorter before wrapping it, so it made a lot of noise--G almost dove off the couch trying to get it! He loves it now that it's unwrapped, too!


Trin's favorite gift of the day? Sounds funny, but I'd swear (without asking her) it's the fashion glasses. No kidding--fashion glasses! They were on her list, and I found a cute pair at Claire's for $5...She's worn them nearly everyday since Christmas--takes them off when she goes to bed at night, and most mornings, she puts them on almost the minute she gets up! It cracks me up, but at the same time, seeing her in them freaks me out--she looks so much older! I have a hard time believing she'll be 9 in April and that she only has 2 more years of elementary school left before she's a middle schooler--yikes!




Oh, I got caught downtown in that snow "storm" a couple weeks ago--that was fun. Waited for 2 hours at my bus stop for a bus, got from 5th & Market to 5th & Broadway in about 40 minutes on that bus, then got stuck behind 2 other stuck buses & sat for another 30 minutes, waiting for my hubby to show up to just drive me home. We wound our way through the West Hills to avoid the parking lots on the main roads & highways, stopped to play Good Samaritan and tow 2 other cars up the hill, dropped off a fellow traveller at her home, and made it home around 9:45....I get off work at 5 and usually am home by 6. It was a loooooonnnng night!


Back on the "kid front": Garrett's 9 months old now, which I can't believe. Has it really been 9 months? He's a crawling master and is pulling up to his knees, which means pulling to stand and then cruising and walking I'm sure aren't far behind--yikes! He fights going to sleep unless he's completely exhausted, which makes for some long evenings. I've started taking him in and lying down in bed with him in a dark room, which works sometimes too well--there have been nights I've fallen asleep there too, LOL! Boy, trying to take his 9 month pictures was fun. He was so focused on the paper that I could barely get his attention on me--of the 14 pics I took, only 2 successfully show the sign and have Garrett actually looking at me--it was so funny! These aren't those 2, btw, but I love them: